How To Register Your Hands As Deadly Weapons

Yesterday I received an email from a novice practitioner. I've included my reply.

Mr. Vesia, I've been following your blog and I have a question. Is it true that black belts must have their hands registered as lethal weapons? My instructor says his are, but I thought this was hogwash. I recently got bumped up to camouflage belt and I was just wondering. Does having a black belt mean I have to invoke the right to bear arms? Especially with the possibility of new gun laws and restrictions I want a backup plan, know what I mean? Thanks, Andy

Yes Andy it's true, at least in the US, newly promoted black belts have 90 days to have their hands registered lest you want to have the FBI breaking down your door. This is serious stuff that needs to be taken care of when the time comes. You have a few options to commit to this. One is with the International Lethal Defense Combat Organization that will send you a certificate attesting to your deadliness for $25.

Are there those who doubt your martial arts skills in karate, kung-fu, boxing, grappling, or street fighting, yet you are too well trained to physically display your skills and injure them?
Then join The International Lethal Defense Combat Organization, and receive a free personalized, frameable document which testifies that your hands are registered with the International Lethal Defense Combat Organization.

Here's an ad from a different outfit in case you're on a tight budget:

And there you have it. Congrats on your camo belt promotion, Andy. When you get your black belt in 3 or 4 months at the McDojo you train at write me again. Good luck!